As a young girl, I always heard about women speaking about the decision you have to make between having a career or a child. I never understood why anyone would have to face that decision. I used to think, “if you want to become something in your field, just do it,” little did I know that decision is a lot harder than I ever imagined.
Fast forward ten years, I’m now married with the same dreams, goals, and aspirations. I absolutely love my job and want to continue growing professionally. I also want to own my very own store one day. I have the name, the products, and the location all picked out, now it is just the matter of gaining knowledge and increasing my savings.
So what does this have to do with anything? Well, I recently got married to my best friend. I am absolutely blessed to have such a wonderful husband that truly believes in me and all my dreams. However, now that I am married, I can’t help but think about wanting to have kids. We keep talking about starting to have kids in three to five years when we are a bit older and more established. It gets me so excited to think about, but then it’s like I run straight into a brick wall. In 3-5 years, I will have an established career.
Does this mean that I must give up those dreams and goals to raise a family?
Sadly, this is something almost every woman must face and it just makes me extremely frustrated.
As I said before, my husband is beyond supportive and wants me to have that dream store and that dream family I constantly talk about but the more I think about it, it makes me wonder how it is even possible. Growing up my mom was a stay-at-home mom which I am so blessed to have had. She was there for every thing, from sporting events to when I was sick, or even if I forgot something at home and she was able to bring it up to school for me. I always said when I had children, I wanted to be my mom…and I still do. But now I am so driven with my career and it scares me.
Then it also got me thinking. He wants kids and he knows he won’t have to sacrifice his career for that. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, it’s just the way our world is. Now I understand that there are stay at home dads and mother’s who have full time careers but I just feel like you personally have to choose one or the other, or give it half my best for both. In regards to salary, my husband makes twice as much as I do and he will continue to increase his salary growth. If we were to have kids now, it wouldn’t make sense for me to work because day care costs as must as I make in a year.
I just wish I could go back to that teenage girl who didn’t care what would stand in her way, she knew she would reach her goals regardless. But as an adult, you are constantly faced with decisions, and as a woman, I feel like every other one determines if you’ll be able to succeed in the work world. I still am chasing after those goals I have in the front of my mind, but I know goals and dreams will change over time, especially if kids are involved.
I just hope when the time comes, I don’t have to give up another dream of mine because I am a woman.