Disclaimer: everyone is looking for something different. results may vary.
First of all…
DON’T DO ANY OF THESE THINGS WE TOLD YOU TO DO BEFORE
In my opinion, the most important thing you can do is take clues. Read her body language to see if she’s interested or not. Getting denied is pretty much the worst, but there’s always the chance of that happening. The hard part about going up to a random person is you have no idea what their current life situation is. The could be single, in a long-term relationship, married, divorced 9 times… you have no clue. Some nights I don’t want any guys coming up to me. Like when I have a crappy day and just want to dance my face off with my friends and want zero males spitting game at me. Other nights I’m like wherrreee alll the boyzzz atttttt
DON’T OFFER TO BUY HER A DRINK
Yes, you read that right. A big concern for guys is girls using them for free drinks. Don’t offer to buy girls drinks then! Girls will accept your offer because you offered. Girls aren’t going up to guys asking them to buy them drinks, guys are offering. And who says no to free stuff? Do you see how crazy people get at sporting events over free XXL T-shirts being thrown into the crowd? Everyone knows they’ll never wear that shirt, but it’s FREE! Avoid getting your hopes up when she accepts the free bev. That in no way means she wants to be your friend, girlfriend, or talk to you ever again after she takes the first sip. Harsh reality.
DON’T COMPLIMENT HER APPEARANCE (at first)
This one probably sounds ridiculous, but because there are so many creepy guys, you non-creepy guys have to suffer. You just going up to a girl to talk to her implies that you think she’s good looking. I’m sorry to break it to you, but the majority of compliments you’d give to a girl she’s heard a million times. Mostly by creepy dudes. The girl you want to talk to may have already gotten grabbed, stared at inappropriately, and hollered at before you approach her, so even just compliment from you could make her defensive. “You look beautiful” sometimes just sounds like “come home with me” in my head. Once a girl gets to know you, then you can compliment her. It has way more value that way.
GIVE HER YOUR NUMBER
Instead of getting her number, ask if you can give her your’s. If she texts you sometime after you guys meet, you know she’s interested. It can be hard to say no when a guy asks for my number. Sometimes it’s just less awkward to just put my number in his phone than thinking of an excuse to why I can’t/don’t want to. But with technology these days, your phone number can be a path to not only texting you, but adding you on snapchat and Instagram… then he’s always there. Not ideal if you’re not interested in him.
KEEP IT SHORT & SWEET
If you’re out a bar, talking isn’t really the main priority for a lot of people. And if you’re drinking, you may just end up having the same conversation again if you land a date. Ask her what name is, who she’s out with, and what her plans for the rest of the night. Then ask to leave her with your number. That just sounds way more attractive to me then having a guy ask about my job and if I want a drink or to dance with him. Hint: People don’t really like to talk about work on the weekend. I’m very guilty of doing this, but when you’re trying to talk to a girl, I’d keep work out of the convo and just ask questions about her night. Everyone’s trying to live in the present on the weekends and you can ask her about her job later if you end up talking again. If she’s not interested in you, a short convo will keep it less painful for both of you. If she is interested, she’ll make an effort to keep the convo going or hit you up later.
No matter what your intentions are with a girl (or boy), be open and honest. Being on the same page as someone may be the hardest thing ever… both people wanting the same things is hard to come by. One person ends up getting feelings or losing feelings. It’s not in your control, but you have to communicate these things in order to be a decent human being. Don’t ghost people. Don’t act like you want something serious when you don’t. Just be respectful. That’s really what all this comes down to. Women are disrespected out the freaking wazoo so please do us all a favor and cut that shit out.
Happy flirting :*